So....

The last time I was on here I didn't know what I wanted to do. I had people saying that I shouldn't finish college in the states and people saying I should stay here and go to ASU.

Well I figured it out: I am going to move down to Phoenix hopefully at the end of the year (hopefully sooner then that; I am bursting out of the seams here). I want to buy my house, write a couple of books (hence how I will buy my house), travel (I want to take my mom to a few places), get my Real Estate License, and hopefully take a dance and/or acting class.

Other then that it has just been dating things. I like this guy a lot, but I am terrified of being in a relationship. I don't know what do to, what to be in a relationship. I don't know the basics of...How long do you have to date before this or before that...I don't know how to be a good boyfriend. How to date or flirt. Fact is that I am still a virgin.

I am hesitant!

I talked with another guy and he says I should not be dating at all. "Your not ready for it."

Maybe I am. I don't know. I'd like to be "in a relationship," but read above. Every time I see two guys in a relationship, I sink. I mean why can't I fine someone in my life. Grrr......

This guy that helped me, said I was jealous of him being in a relationship and that he knows I have a crush on him. Which isn't true, I mean I care about so ya maybe its jealousy, but that could be the protectiveness inside of me. But what I don't get about him is that he wants to be my first and show me everything, but yet he would never cheat on his guy. So does he want me to wait for him? I don't know!

Anyways, I don't know about the dating thing, right now. I want it, but hesitant about it. Thursday night I woke yup in the middle of the morning after having one of the weirdest dreams:

I was naked at first. Walking along Sherwood Dr. (No one that I kew was living on the street.) Sitting where my house was a dark faux stone building with a car 2-car carport with a wood ceiling. All of the sudden I was dressed and met up with 3 other guys. It was like we were all going to have sex. But I still was a virgin and still never kissed a guy. One of the guys I knew, I’ve seen him before. He was single the other 2 were not. Then all of the sudden we were inside and I was standing next to my guy who was wearing a grey t-shirt. He had black hair and brown eyes. He was skinny, too. Then all of the sudden I leaned in for a kiss. My hands were moving up and down his shoulder blades (hence knowing he was skinny.) and hearing smooch, smooch. It was like I’ve met him, seen him naked, etc. But the kissed last a few seconds until someone walked in (we were in some living room). When I woke up from the dream I could still feel the tingle on my lips (like his sprit was right there).

The guy I have been talking to is not the guy in my dream..

Ugh...Help!

Ry!

What to Do????

For the last couple of weeks my mind has been flooded with way too many thoughts. Thoughts about everything in my life.

What do I want to do next?

Where do I want to go?

Do I want the things I'd like to have in my future?

Lately it has been a lot about schooling and traveling and the materialistic things I'd like to have in my life.

College: It is coming to then end of the semester-4 long weeks left-and I am getting to the point where I don't want to work on it anymore. I am really burnt out on it. I have no clue on what I want to do (Landscape Architecture, Interior Design/Architecture, Journalism). I like each aspect of them, but is it what I want to do. I hate how much of a negative nelly the media is and I am not sure if the sector for design has any more room in it for me. Will I have a job? (Trust me I've seen my cousin, who has a business degree, paying more for school and still is a waitress)

I fell in love with Arizona State's Tempe Campus both times I've toured there. But tuition hike after tuition hike and the classes I have to take are ridiculous. I mean how many times in life am I going to use y=mx+b in life. Really! I hate math anyways. I'd like to learn the things I am interested.

The things I want to do I can learn on my own...learn by doing. It's worked! I have refined my cooking skills with the help of the FoodNetwork. HGTV has taught me a lot about interior design and landscape architecture. But like I said; I am bored with it. Two people have said I shouldn't take a break from it, but I haven't had any fun it my life. (mom was sick, dad was gone, both were broke, and I was in school). So I don't know....

Travel: I love it. It is in my blood. I'd like to travel all of the 50 states starting in mid-2011. But I don't know. I know I have my whole life to do that. And would rather do that with my kids and my partner. But I kind of just want to go and do it now. Its dragging me to do it., though.

What I'd do is: Buy a trailer and camp all 50 states, except for Hawai'i and Alaska, which I'd fly to. But I'd like someone to go with me. Someone who I know and can trust with driving my truck I hope soon to get, and my life....

Other: I really would like to get a dog within the next year, once I have my house, but traveling would have to be put on hold as would culinary school if I ever go.

Then there is Real Estate School-which would be something to do, and I could still have my dog.

The other thing is acting. Something has been pulling me to go into it. Last week especially. I went to the movies with my mom and saw "The Bounty Hunter" and every time I sit in the theater, I want to watch a preview of me in a movie. There is one place in NYC- NYFA- where I'd be able to get 2-yr diploma in acting. (Just acting classes, not liberal courses)) But it is a expensive. $15,000 per semester which would total $60,000 in 2 years. (I know there is other school out there)

And the last thing is something simple an iPhone. I would love one, but I am not about the materialistic things. Yes, it is nice and would love one, but its that whole greedy guilt thing with it and the price. $300 for the phone plus $100 monthly for the plan, which I get unlimited. I can spend $50 on a phone and $50 monthly for unlimited everything. Then the greedy guilt thing. I don't want to reinforce what this country is based on "GREED." There are things out there I'd like, but I know I don't have to have everything out there.

So I don't know.....

Ry!

The List!

My name, is Daniel; I go by "Ry." This, is "The List!"

"The List," is a multitude of various, odd, most likely unachievable things that I want to accomplish in life. You could say that I am living my life to fullest, but thats not entirely correct. I am living my life to the fullest to what it means to me, and only me....

Ski

Snowboard

Work @ KTLA & KPNX*

Roller-skate

Bottle feed/handle Big cats

Eat Sushi

Real Estate License

Learn Languages

Change Name*

Present &/or Win an Oscar

Loose Weight

Own a Restaurant*

Sky Dive

Drivers License

Travel! Travel! Travel!

Climb Mt. Everest & Mt. Kilimanjaro

Surf

Cooking School*

Buy a House by 12/07/2010

Write a book(s)

Own a plane or Airline*

Own a car company*

Open a school

Study Abroad

Buy a Vineyard

Gymnastics

Be on Ellen & Meet Ellen

Find me a Man

Have my own Cooking show*

Ballroom Dancing

Write a Screenplay

Go into Acting*

Go into Politics*

Cook with Paula Deen

Archery

Guitar

Walk &/or Run a Marathon

Buy a Boat

Ice Skate

Latin Dancing

Work with Swords

Learn Baseball/Softball

Undergrad.

Law School

Win an Emmy

Jiujitsu

Scuba

Flute

Fencing

Hip-Hop Dancing

Train & Swim with Dolphins

Piano

Cook through an entire Cookbook

Meet Several Actors

Be on MTV's Real World

Skateboard

Live in another Country

Bartend

Go into Space

Be in/Cover the Olympics

Attend a Championship Sports Game

Bungy-jump

*= Undecided

Now, obviously these are not in any order. Thats all I got for right now. There will be more; if you have any other ideas, I'd take them, too. One other thing regarding this blog is that I am going to get very personal, very personal. So anyways.....

Ry!